Tuesday 31 January 2012

Killer awful bunny double: Kottentail

Hans Kottentail is a lets face-it, a slightly probably more then likely autistic German man who looks more like a demented hill billy. He's slow, awkward and damn right ugly, you'd think oh come on life has treated him unfairly enough. Until he meets a fluffy stuffed animal that changes him completely and ruins my life entirely, this is my absolutely shit review for an absolutely shit movie.

Toy bunnies: Extremely fucking dangerous apparently, it escapes bites him, turns him into a god awful Werebunny and then this happens:

 
Oh yeah sonority house bunnies to the rescue to seduce that evil lop-earred fucker into a trap and death by shotgun. 

  
That's it to it seriously, it doesn't get much more enthralling then that ladies and gentlemen. We do get to see how easily Security guards are bypassed though, you offer him a cup of tea, then a doughnut, if you so fancy expose your breasts right next to the tea and doughnuts, it's then advised that you bang him (don't come a knockin' if the security car is a rockin') whilst your best friend then sneaks in to free aforementioned toy bunny.   

If you want to keep your sanity and enthusiasm for hokey horror I recommend that you don't even toy with the idea of seeing this, it did really break my spirit as you can tell by this review of it, I just couldn't be arsed as much as the producer of this tripe couldn't be arsed making a decent horror. SHAME ON BOTH OF US.





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